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Oh, you want to contact me, do you? Fine, but don’t expect a prompt reply. Or any reply, really. This is more for my amusement than yours. Fill out the form below, but remember: the more ridiculous your message, the more likely I am to respond. And by “more likely,” I mean slightly less unlikely.

Name

First

Last

(Yeah, I’m going to need to know who to blame for wasting my time.)

(So I can get back to you if I feel like pretending to care.)

nonsense, reply, Try

Reason for contacting me:

(Pick one or make up your own excuse.)

How urgent is this?

Selected Value: 0

(Note: Even if it’s “Extremely Urgent,” I’m still going to read it while drinking tea at my own pace.)

Do you want a sarcastic reply, some pseudo-spiritual nonsense, or just a shrug emoji?

Comment or Message

(Pour out your soul. Or just type random letters. It’s all the same to me.)

Try to answer the following question:

(Prove you’re not a robot. Even though a robot probably wouldn’t bother me as much.)

By submitting this form, I acknowledge that I might receive zero helpful advice and instead get a snarky response, if I’m lucky. Rude Yogi is not responsible for any enlightenment, confusion, or life-altering epiphanies that might accidentally happen as a result.

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Rude Yogi